When all hope has been abandoned of finding someone spectacular, it happens and you let yourself go without knowing if what you are doing is right. It all started with his sensational curly hair, and it went all the way to his heart. I could feel a peaceful and fun energy coming within him. I did not know what to think, feel or act. I led him guide me into the night, let him make me dance all day and night long, and somehow we kissed, the most melting kiss ever. Kiss after kiss, hug after hug, we ended up alone in a motel room. At first I thought “just one more night stand” but what happened next was an unfamiliar happiness. To feel his body on top of mine, to twist his curls and look at his light brown eyes, to kiss every inch of his body, to be unfamiliarly comfortably naked next to him, to touch his lips, the softest lips ever. It was more than a motel ride. When the time was up and I was home alone at last, I did not know how to feel. The social convention is to not let go, and wait until he shows true interest before doing what we did. I cannot stop rumbling in my mind, my piscis and loving and vulnerable mind, that he might not call ever again, or that he might be my next great and wonderful adventure.

I guess life is composed of perpetual ambiguity, composed by impermanence, we try so hard to hang on to anything. I am trying to hang onto the idea that he will be an adventure for some time, and a permanent memory.